If you have committed violence

The first step to breaking the cycle of violence is to become aware of the problematic behavior or impulses. You need to know that violent acts are a result of suffering that a person experiences. Awareness of the problem leads to a real chance for the person to correct their behavior.

Answer the following questions:

1. Have you ever suspected that you are abusing someone close to you – spouse; partner; parent; child; other close relatives?
2. Are you worried that your behavior could destroy your relationship (family) and relationships with close relatives?
3. Are you worried that your children will witness unacceptable behavior between parents?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, answer yes or no to the following questions:

• Do you yell, insult, threaten, stalk, or physically attack a loved one?
• Do you control the person next to you or your child, do you impose your own opinion, do you generally not consider the other person's opinion, do you impose your own decisions alone, do you constantly demand information about the location of your loved one, do you determine who they can or cannot communicate with?
• Do you easily lose control, resorting to behavior that you later hesitate to consider cruel and violent?
• Do you force sexual relations against the other person's wishes?

• Do you think that your loved ones, and especially your partner, are always obliged to agree with you?
• When the other person disagrees with you, do you often resort to lines like “If you love me/If you care about me, you will...“?
• Do you encourage the other person to use drugs or abuse alcohol?
• Have you ever threatened the other person with suicide?
• Do you consider it acceptable to insult or hurt in any other way for the good of the other person?
• Do you blame the other person for your problems?
• Do you control the other person's finances person?
• Do you forbid the other person from working?